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Why change the site? We need to update the site to: Make it more secure and usable. It's okay Yert I still love you. Supporter Level 60 Animator.

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Her name was Jasmine. Secretly I suspected that her name wasn't Jasmine at all and was instead something like Mildred or Gerty, but that's OK.

I called at a. I'm not percent sure of peak times in the working day of an escort, but I think maybe mornings are downtime. She answered on the second ring and sounded breathy and a little throaty.

If a boner could answer the phone, that's the voice it would use. Not bad at all. I said hello and for no good reason immediately followed this by saying I did not want to have sex.

Literally, she said hello and I said,"Hi. I don't want to have sex. I've probably made thousands of phone calls in my life, and I once told a pizza guy I loved him before I hung up, but this was pretty much the dumbest call in the fastest time in my lengthy phone career.

I heard something like a grunt on the other end and she said "OK. I explained to her that I wanted to spend time with her, but just like a date. I wanted to pay her to go out with me, have dinner, and chat.

I should have started with that. She was very open to the idea and asked me where and when. Not once on the phone did she herself mention anything about sex or money, which I figured was a pretty professional way to handle things.

You never know if I'm a completely moronic police officer, after all. I tried my best to clarify what it would cost me, but she insisted that everything I needed to know was online, and if I was serious, I'd know what to do.

Basically this meant me doing math. This was the first moment that doubt and trepidation set in. She put a value on sex, but now I had to put a value on funny.

We settled on a time and a place and ended our conversation. I had just solicited a prostitute. My family would be proud, if they weren't worse people than me already.

Although Pretty Woman , a movie I didn't enjoy starring an actress I don't like that I haven't seen in a solid decade, was seriously my only reference point for how to behave and what to do, I didn't think a formal, tuxedo affair was the way to go with this, and not just because I don't own a tuxedo.

I would have to wing things from here. Jasmine was going to meet me at a restaurant downtown at p.

I felt that was a good time for a late dinner that made me seem like an adult, plus, for the next few hours we spent together, it would stretch into what I figure is a sexy time of night.

As you may have noticed, I'm a complete idiot. I don't date a lot. The restaurant was fancy in that way that there are no crayons on the table and no one wears pieces of flair.

I showered twice before leaving my house, proving to myself that I have a weird kind of OCD about strangers and sex, and headed out.

Arriving 35 minutes early, I proceeded to drink at the bar until Jasmine finally arrived. As a man with some ability to make people laugh, in my day-to-day machinations I've dabbled in flirting with attractive women before; I've even had success.

I don't want to brag, but I have touched a boob before, and it was just swell. So I'm no rookie at this sort of thing. That said, Jasmine was like sex that something had arranged in the shape of a person and held together with a shimmery black dress and lipstick.

If sensuality smelled like bacon, this girl would have been Jewish kryptonite. I was a little stunned. Also a little drunk.

She said hello and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she took a seat next to me at the bar. Because I'm sly and shit, I literally leaned back a few inches to look at her ass.

It really was sweet. We made chitchat briefly as I tried to think of a cool way to bring up giving her a wad of cash I had in an envelope because she was a prostitute and I was a john.

Luckily she was on top of that like stink on a monkey and had her tiny purse on the bar before I figured out what I wanted to say and suggested I just slide my donation inside.

I guess we work on the honor system. That's nice. Jasmine had a very shrewd way of deflecting pretty much any question I asked her and turning it into a question about me instead.

Over the course of dinner I learned that she loves what she does, she has been doing it a couple of years, and she would not show me her booty clapping skills in a restaurant, but something else could be arranged.

Other than that, I didn't get very deep into her, so to speak. Although she did admit to liking the movie Dude, Where's My Car?

I once called Steve Jobs the da Vinci of our generation. Please don't support anything I do. I finished my steak and garlic mashed potatoes while she ate a vegetarian stir fry and we discussed our plans for the rest of the evening.

The only idea I had readily available that might kill two birds with one stone was dancing. Because I dance like a palsied child in the final throes of succumbing to a new disease on the frontier, I hadn't really wanted to do this, but of course I had few other ideas that didn't involve mini golf or going to a clinic the next morning, so dancing it was.

Besides, I was about six drinks into the evening at this point and at the cusp of dancing by myself anyway. So I went clubbing with a prostitute.

If you've never spent an inebriated evening cutting a rug with a lady of the night, all I can say is that it does amazing things for your self-confidence.

Jasmine had me convinced I was like the bastard child of Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake, only possibly with a mightier dong and highly appealing earlobes, which she had a habit of biting while we danced.

I knew this was all for show, but it was a show I had paid for, and a show I was putting on for a crowded room of sweaty strangers as well.

And you know what? I liked it. I felt good about myself. It was all fake, and I didn't care. I had no sex with Jasmine that evening. When we parted ways, she kissed me on the lips and may have left her tongue somewhere in my chest cavity, after which I coolly said "awesome.

That's not really my business anyway. I learned that she was paying for a Ph. She'd actually been spying on me at the restaurant for a while before we met.

She told me she sees no more than two guys a day, four days a week, and I was more fun than most of them. Also she took me into the women's washroom at the club and made her ass clap for me.

It was fucking amazing. I will probably never pay an escort to go dancing with me again, but only because it's kind of a costly way to spend an evening.

It was fun, and Jasmine was a lot more fun to hang out with than I had assumed ahead of time. And why did I assume it would be different?

Hard to say -- it probably had something to do with whatever assumptions most people make about women who charge money for sex.

What did I learn? The only difference between an escort and, say, your sister is probably that an escort charges money.

They're both regular people, though. And also that ass clapping is awesome. Don't make me do this again. Your password must be at least 8 characters.

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Translation on Find a Grave is an ongoing project. If you notice a problem with the translation, please send a message to feedback findagrave. Thanks for your help!

We have set your language to English based on information from your browser. Photo added by V. Nareen Lake. Cemetery Photos Map. Search Memorials in Hooker Cemetery.

Memorial ID. Contributor ID. Spouse, Parent, Child or Sibling name. This cemetery currently has no photos. Add Photos. Drag images here or select from your computer Select Photo s.

General photo guidelines: Photos larger than 8. Each contributor can upload a maximum of 5 photos for a cemetery.

A cemetery can have a maximum of 20 photos. Remove File. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Email. Friend's email: The email does not appear to be a valid email address.

Your email:. Hooker Cemetery I found on Findagrave. Cancel Sending Spreadsheet Upload - Disabled. Search Tips.

Use the? Select "More search options" to: Search for a memorial or contributor by ID. Include the name of a spouse, parent, child or sibling in your search.

Use partial name search or similar name spellings to catch alternate spellings or broaden your search. Narrow your results to famous, Non-Cemetery Burials, memorials with or without grave photos and more.

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